the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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