my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
