I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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