if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm always down for nudity.
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