i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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