Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
