so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
pray to the hookup gods
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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