Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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