I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We have so much sex to catch up on
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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