Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still dying that you shit outside
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
