It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize