the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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