Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
