Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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