return my video game
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All the doctor said was why
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
