D3 body, D1 cock
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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