She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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