And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
pray to the hookup gods
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
