I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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