I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
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How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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