You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This is not my ceiling
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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