Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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