If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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