I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
