i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
