I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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