This girl is more easily done than said...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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