I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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