I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
