his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
