I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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