she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
