Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
