her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
