i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
