Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
