Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
