We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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