someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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