Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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