Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
