Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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