i permit you to call me
Me too!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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