Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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