Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
