i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
