Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
