It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
