i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
