I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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