One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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