It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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