so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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