I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can't motorboat a personality
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize