do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
