Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
His nipple licking is glorious
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