there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
