I got her a Nickelback box set.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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