I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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