I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize