I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
