the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
